Wow, so much time has passed since I wrote last and so many things have changed. There have been good times, bad times and a million times in between. Where can I even begin? Hmmmm, ok here goes:

Sometime after my last post I found out that my ex-husband had been spending time with the girl that had played a part in wrecking our marriage. Oh, wait, did I leave that out last time? Ooops. See, I told you there would be some backstory. So, my husband went outside our marriage for a (pardon my language) piece of ass. And he got it. And when I say he picked a girl that was the complete opposite of me, I mean just that. She is nasty. Easy. Not a girl you take home to momma and damn sure not a girl you have around my child. Anyway, that had stopped before he and I separated. Fast forward to when we were separated in 2016 and now he is living the single life. But, he wasn’t. He was living the kinda single, kinda got that nasty whore up in his apartment life. Fast Forward to me finding out. You know that old saying “the shit hit the fan”? Well, it hit the fan so hard it ripped the fan blades off. I was livid, furious, seeing red. Some days I wondered if I wasn’t going to snap and do something like run her over with my car. It was that bad. Fast forward to Christmas (after the whole Thanksgiving meltdown) and now he is sitting on my couch asking how we are going to work out Christmas this year. He wanted to be able to come to my familys dinner like he had for the past 10 years and me go to his because, he didn’t want things to be different, but yet, he wanted things to be different. I know, confusing right. Try to keep up if you can, although admittedly its hard for me to sometimes so if you can’t, I understand.

I told him that he could come to my familys Christmas party this year, but next year, there would probably be someone else with us Christmas morning, putting her bike together and being at my families. I think that hit him in the gut. Suddenly this man that had told me to “let him go” was saying “lets work it out”. Skeptical? Yup. I was. But, whatever. You want to come back, come back. One sign of that nasty hoe and you’re out the do-or. So Christmas went ok, it was a little awkward, but it was ok. Ok enough that it led to him moving back home. I’m gonna skip all the boring stuff that happened over the winter because it was really uneventful. Just the usual, work, home, repeat. In April of 2017 we decided to take our little girl to Disney. So the two of us, along with my mother and precious 5 year old set out for FL. We had been there about 3 days, and still had about 4 left. One day after returning from the Animal Kingdom, he hopped in the shower. I happen to walk by his phone laying on the dresser and saw a message, from her. Yes, her. It said “I love you baby and can’t wait until you get back Monday”. I grabbed his phone and opened his messages. Message after message of “I love you so much”, “I love you so much more”. I literally flew into a hell spell and slammed the bedroom door shut and cornered him in the shower. We got into it, big time. So big in fact that he packed his stuff up and was going to leave me, my mother and our child in Florida. And let me tell you what had happened if he had of….actually, let me not. Because if his body were to ever turn up in the future, I do not want to be implicated 🙂

My mother finally managed to get him to come back up stairs and go to bed. The next day, everyone got up like no big deal and got ready and headed to Disney. Including me. It was a good day, my daughter had fun, my mom had fun, I am assuming he had fun. But for me, the entire experience was tainted with the realization that the second I got back in my hometown I was telling him to go straight to hell. And if he didn’t go willingly, I’d send him there myself.

A day later, he broke down, begging for forgiveness. Told her he couldn’t ever talk to her again. Blah Blah Blah. Gave me full access to his phone, email, and everything, which I checked, hourly. Trip ended and everyone just left the drama in Florida. We made it back to NC and went on with life. Well, everyone else did. I went on with my plan of letting him stay until I finished Nursing School so he could support me and then telling him to get the hell out. That may seem harsh but honestly, does it? After what he had done? And it gets better. I started back in my Nursing program May of 2017 and soon I was back in the throes of that crazy hectic schedule. But, things still seemed to be going good. We bought a house and started remodeling it. Everything was “us” this and “our” that. He always talked about the future and made plans. I always went along with it, still, deep inside, not trusting him and planning to execute my plan the moment I was self supporting. Then one day, October 4th 2017 at 8pm to be exact, I was searching his truck like I did nightly (without him knowing) and I found one of those pre-paid Tracphones. It was full of messages and calls between the two, that had been going on since one month after we had arrived back from Florida in April. Literally 6 months he had been seeing her, sleeping with her, talking to her daily. Calling her actually, the moment I left in the morning. Sleeping with her in the mornings and seeing her as much as he could. I came unhinged and this time, almost called the cops on myself because I just knew there would be a dead body when I was done with him.

I exploded like one of the bombs North Korea has been testing recently. We had it out, well, I had it out, he just sat and listened. I took some low blows, and I mean low. I asked him how he would feel about him if this was our daughter and a man had treated her this way. Was he even the type of person he would want his daughter to be with? He damn sure wasn’t what I’d want her to end up with. I told him I hated him, that I’d rather he be dead. I meant it. With all my cold and broken heart I meant it. I wished he’d drop dead. The next day he left to go to work and I actually prayed to god to just take him out of the world. I didn’t even care if it was painless or not. He told me that I had found the phone because he wanted me to know. He said that he wanted it to be over but didn’t know how to tell me. So he had put the phone in an obvious place so that I would find it, because he knew I checked his truck. He said that the last time this had happened, I had told him that, it would have been better if you had just told me the truth and not left me to find out on my own. So, he said he was trying to do just that. I kept the phone, hell I still have the phone. And I used it to send all the pictures that she had sent him (of her stark naked chubby ass) to her husband, along with copies of all the texts. The only thing I didn’t send, which I used as leverage, were the videos of the two of them, you know, “doing it”. I kept those tidbits for myself. Of course, I sent her a text message, and a pretty nasty one at that. Calling her a few choice words among other things and letting her know that, should she ever contact my husband again, I would hand deliver the videos to her husband, straight to her “fucking front door”. And I’m pretty sure she knew I meant it. I obtained all his passwords, for his phone, his facebook, his email, his bank accounts and cell phone account. I also put a GPS tracker in the OBD in his truck (which he still isn’t aware of) as well as a smaller, more covert GPS tracker (as a backup incase he found the first). I track his every move. EVERY move. If his phone moves, I know it. If his truck moves, I know it. When I leave in the morning, I watch him on the camera I had installed (that he is unaware of). I watch and I listen, because it was during those times of morning that he would call her the minute I left. Now, I watch and I know. And so far, so good. In the past, when I decided to look it didn’t take me long to find something, with 1/2 the resources I have now. And now, there is nothing. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that shouldn’t be there, no unknown phone numbers. He doesn’t go anywhere that he doesn’t tell me first and I always watch via the trackers to make sure he goes where he says. I also have eyes on her, and I get updates about when she arrives to and from work, as well as home. I don’t consider it stalking, I consider it “keeping tabs”. Its true what they say, a women scorned can find our more information than the FBI.

So that’s where we are today. I am 40 days away from graduating nursing school and landing a job that pays nearly $30/hour. It is in his best interest to keep his pecker in his pants and keep me happy as he possibly can. Because it won’t be long and I will be free as a mother fucking bird and can bail on him any time I want. And you’d best believe, I will do just that if I so much as suspect he is up to something or into something he shouldn’t be. But not before I wreak havoc on the life of anyone who does me wrong. I have the power to flip worlds upside down and ruin lives, and I have held onto what I have, waiting for the moment to use it, but hoping that it doesn’t come to that. But if it does, god have mercy on the both of them because hell hath no fury……..